All the beautiful women I met in my life have left a lasting impression on my mind. All of them have left a little of their beauty in me as they moved past. And the irony is most of them do not even realize how much good they have done to me.
So many beautiful women came in and went out from my life. Some stood and walked with me, some flashed like lightning across my eyes, leaving me dazzled. Some never looked back. A few held my hands. And still fewer kissed me.
There were, however, quite a few, who left their mark, imprinted in my memories. These are the wonderful women with whom I have spent some of the best moments of my life.
I was a born lover. The feeling of love ran in my blood when I was too young to even understand the mysteries of the world. I was a little kid, hardly three years old, when I met my first love. She was a beautiful woman, probably in her twenties. I said I will grow up and marry her. Consequently, I grew up thinking about her, thinking of falling in love with a woman like her. Her beauty was the defining parameter when ever I looked at any woman.
By the time I was 18, a man enough, I shed those good old conceptions as childish fantasy. I fell in love with a real woman this time. It was a shy relationship. My heart would thump, everytime, I stood before her, searching for words. She was too coy to make a move.
But love we did. I learnt to write long colourful love letters. Those days were beautiful. I learnt to write poetry. I learnt to express my feelings in words. And I would be almost flattered when my friends wanted me to write their love letters too. This woman made me a poet, and I worshiped her beauty like a faithful servant.
While my every stint with a woman was short and sweet sojourn, I have preserved the values I have acquired from all of them. Destiny had other plans. Two of us never kept our promises. Years later when I was in college, I knew she was married. I only wished that her husband loved her as much as I did.
CUt to college. This is another phase of my life where I seasoned as a lover of beauty. This time, I was more close to reality than anytime before. She would sit right infront of me. All the time, I would dream about her. She was a different experience, altogether. She was that dark beauty who stole my heart away. And helplessly, I just sat dreaming.
It was a secret love, which I did not disclose for a year. When finally I did, I got the answer I had feared.So I see-sawed, from love to indifference, and again back to loving her. Next wonderful woman was just around the corner by then.
She was the magical soccerer who bewitched me in every sense of the word. With her I spent two best weeks of my life. Later I wrote a poetry, a Fortnight's fling dedicated to her. When she finally left me, I promised her that I will dedicate 108 poems for her. I still write, although she is married and has a kid.
Then entered the fiery, voluptous woman. She was passionate about love and serious about getting down with life. She gave a new leash of life to me. She made me feel the most important person in this world. she was caring to every detail.
She would lavishly shower her love on me and unabashedly demand that I love her with all my heart. She made me so depended. How often I had cried on her lap when I felt miserable. She would be there for me always, at any crossroads of my life. She changed my life.
However, things were bound to change. Perhaps, I took her for granted, or may be, she had changed over time. Everyone does. It was painful to part ways. Actually it had always been painful not to be loved.
Meanwhile, I moved on. I have leant that love is a mysterious feeling. It has, like all things, a beggining, a middle and an end.
Many months later, I chanced upon a gem again. She stood by me. She doted on me. She made me realize that human beings have a beautiful heart. But I never loved her. This time I was afraid to. So she gave up. I believe she is seeing somebody right now. I wish good for her.
So here I am, on my own. I feel lonely but I have learnt to live my life. I sleep alone. And I dream alone. I have no promises to keep. I take each day at a time.
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